Often we wonder why our lives sometimes take confusing paths...why we must bear the pain of past relationships and question why God might put us through such misery. For me, I realized why when I met Eric. We were both on separate paths and God helped us find each other at most opportune moment. This is our story...

Before We Were a Couple

It was August of 2005. I had just moved back to Vermillion after going through some painful and emotional realizations after living with my (former) boyfriend in Minneapolis, MN. I was looking for comfort and the love of those I knew cared deeply for me. I was NOT looking for a new relationship...in fact, I was scared of one.

One of the people I turned to was my friend Melissa. I can recall a conversation with Melissa, shortly after I moved back. The subject of this conversation was "What Kind of Man is Hannah's Type?" Melissa stated, "I know someone who would probably be perfect for you, but he's probably too nerdy..." (Guess who it was!) When Melissa told me who she was talking about, my response was something like, "Oh yeah, way to nerdy!"

Melissa's then boyfriend (now husband) Jamie lived in the basement of Eric's house. As Melissa and Jamie are very thoughtful people, whenever they planned anything, they almost always invited Eric. And so, Eric became "one of the group" for about a month after I got home. However, fairly quickly I realized that Eric may have some feelings for me. Having just come out of a 7 year relationship, I was scared to death that he may act on those feelings and (heaven forbid!) ask me out!

Melissa had warned Eric that I was still healing and he, being the gentleman that he was, made no attempts to pursue until I made the first move..that way he would know I was ready. I, however, did not know this and made sure my guard was up for any and all possibilities that he was flirting or trying to pursue me (basically, I became a bit of a b*@ch). :-) Still, Eric waited.

Melissa knew that Eric would be a great match for me and finally asked me, 'What is so bad about him that you won't give him a chance?' To this, I responded with something like, 'Well, he's well traveled, smart, plays jazz, and wears these wierd looking hats!' (They are not so weird to me anymore.) Ironically, the very things I mentioned during that conversation are now some of my favorite things about Eric (except for the hats!). She then proceeded to tell me that it doesn't matter if you have everything in common, in fact it's good to have separate interests sometimes.

That conversation may have sparked something, somewhere down deep inside me, although I didn't realize it at the time. All of the sudden, I kept seeing these "hints" that Eric may be more intriguing than I had originally thought. Little things, like offering to help put a table together for me, how he treated my dog Wiggles as if he was a little kid (which he was and still is to me!), and more specific things like stating that he wanted to visit a Southern Baptist church someday just because the atmosphere is so interesting (I had just stated the same thing during a conversation with someone a few months before).

In September, Melissa and I saw a flier for Salsa dance lessons at a local business in Vermillion. The only catch was, you needed a partner! Well, Melissa had one but, well, I didn't. Eric was an obvious choice and it took me a little while to muster up the courage to ask him if he'd be my dance partner. Once I did, he graciously accepted. We went to a couple of lessons and really enjoyed ourselves. Well, I did at least. Later on in the relationship I realized that dancing is not exactly one of Eric's favorite things to do, nor is it one of his many fortes. :-)

Towards the end of September, Melissa, Jamie and Eric were all buzzing about the upcoming wedding of their friends Cindi and Danny. One night at Melissa's house, Melissa asked me if I was going to stay at the hotel with them. Up to that point, I hadn't known I was invited and I stated, "I'm not going...I haven't been asked," (and turned my eyes "flirtingly" at Eric). Eric took the cue and asked me to be his date for the wedding. It was on the dance floor, October 1st, 2005, at that wedding reception, dancing to some Frank Sinatra song, that I realized I may be falling for him.

The night of the wedding, Eric and I had the awkward pleasure of sharing a full-size hotel bed (he had booked it before he knew he would have a date). We left the reception a little early and went back to the hotel room. Both of us were extremely uncomfortable about sleeping in the same bed so we proceeded to watch Saturday Night Live and talk for a while. We talked for a couple of hours about our past relationships and really got to know each other's story. Finally, it was time to go to bed....I don't think I got a wink of sleep that night because I was so afraid our two bodies were going to touch! I tried to sleep as straight as I could so that I wouldn't risk rubbing up against him. I later found out he did the same thing and didn't get much sleep either!

The First Date

The day after the wedding, Eric had arranged that he and I would ride home together in his car. Unfortunately, the car had other plans. As we started home, Eric quickly realized that the brakes on his car were not working correctly. He pulled over to a gas station and purchased some brake fluid. As I sat in the car, I watched Eric try to fix the problem, only to be let down when his attempts did nothing. It turned out there was a leak in the brake line and the car was not safe to drive. Eric's uncle is a mechanic and happened to live fairly close to where we were, so we arranged to get a ride home with Melissa and Jamie after taking a quick detour to drop off his car.

It happened to be Melissa and Jamie's 1st anniversary on that day and they had planned a romantic day in Sioux Falls...guess who got to tag along...Eric and me! It ended up being a fun day, complete with a visit to the Olive Garden....yum!

On the way back to Vermillion, I fell asleep, leaning on Eric's shoulder. As I drifted, I started thinking that I didn't really want Eric and I to part for the day. They dropped me off at my house and we said goodbye (only after making plans to be each others date for another wedding that happened to be coming up in a week). After I got home, I decided it was time to ask Eric out. I called him and asked if he wanted to come over to watch some movies. He said he was about to call me to ask the same thing! We set a time and I waited...on pins and needles.

Eric brought two movies, Bicentennial Man and The Terminal. We watched Bicentennial Man first. After it was over, neither of us wanted to end the evening so we decided to watch the second movie. To this day, those two movies have a special place in my heart.

After that night, Eric and I grew very close very quickly. Within about three months I knew I wanted him to be my husband someday.

One Year Earlier

One thing that Eric and I often think about is something that occurred almost exactly one year before our first date.

It was October of 2004. I was going to school at USD and Melissa invited me to a Dakota Days (homecoming) party at her friend Eric's house. It happened to be a "Catholic School" theme so we had a good time getting dressed up. Most college parties are nothing to "write home" about, so I wasn't expecting much.

I was immediately impressed as soon as we arrived. This person hosting the party (Eric) had the neatest house I had ever seen and the party was complete with a menu of stuffed green peppers, french lasagna, mexican lasagna, and italian lasagna as well as baguette bread with fresh mozzarella and roma tomatoes. What a spread! It definitely made an impression.

Even so, Eric and my encounter that night was very fleeting. Melissa introduced me when we walked in and Eric became engrossed in his cooking and party hosting. I recall having a short conversation, but it was mostly just small talk. After we left, I did not see Eric again until the following fall.

The ironic thing was how God introduced us and gave us an opportunity but neither of us were ready. I was still in a confusing situation with my ex, and Eric was very much focused on finishing his Master's degree, not exactly "on the hunt" for a girlfriend. Still, God knows what he is doing, and He gave us another opportunity when we were both ready.